Have you ever worked with an actor who is always telling you what to do and gets angry when you don’t do it his or her way? How about a director who yells and screams at actors or humiliates them rather than talking to them like colleagues? These are bullies and sometimes we need to take matters into our own hands and deal with them.
This is particularly difficult for actors since we desperately want to work and there is a closeness in the business that can lead to retaliation or future hiring problems. But sometimes we have to act.
The first thing I encourage you to do is to talk to the person. Try to establish a working relationship and keep talking to them. If that doesn’t work and the problem escalates, talk to the person privately but with one other person present, a neutral person who can listen, witness, and perhaps moderate. Once you are all together, explain the behavior that is bothering you. Explain how some other behavior will be advantageous for both of you and to the project. And finally ask them to change the behavior. In the best situations, the person doesn’t realize what he or she has been doing and they will stop.
If the actor or director resumes their negative behavior, you can remind them of the meeting and the witness, and encourage them to return to the agreed upon behavior. Stick to facts and don’t get personal. When you have these meetings be sure not to get emotional. If you get emotional, it will just fuel the fire. If you cry, it can empower certain people.
Finally, remember that you only have control over your own actions. You can’t change anyone; you can only suggest that they change. By standing up for yourself, when it is appropriate, you will feel better about yourself and you’ll putting positive energy toward a solution that can help the project to be successful.
Eric Barr. All rights reserved
